Thursday 16 January 2003

Today at the Vicarage The

Today at the Vicarage : The Vicarage

Today, for the first time this year, I went jogging at 7.15 am, instead of the more leisurely time of 8.00 am. And it was still dark. How can this be, I wonder? How can it be darker now than in mid December, even though the shortest day is December 21st? Do the mornings continue to get darker, while the evenings get lighter? Such questions gain an added importance, when you find yourself in danger of being rundown by juggernaut in the dark.

And why am I not losing any weight? I may be slimmer than Fat Eric, my faithful reader, who was kind enough to sling a sermon my way, but all this work should be showing some rewards in the waist department.

11.22 am. Ozzie Richardson has phoned to say that channel Five have rejected the Vicar project on the grounds that it is "too esoteric". Well, "f*** you" to Channel Five, we never wanted you anyway, and I cannot even receive the pictures in my house. For those unfamiliar with Channel Five (roughly half the population). it operated on Dawn Aires famous three Fs - Films, Football and Fucking - although not necessarily in that order. Obviously the fucking Vicar film did not contain enough fucking football. The more discerning jury of Channel Four are now into their fifth week of deliberation, with no signs of a verdict in the next few days.

2.00 pm. Punk has just announced that he would like to make his next Vicar Chronicle available online, in real time as he writes it. All things being equal, which they never are, and provided Punk is sober, he will begin broadcasting on February 14th. You heard it here first.